The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. -Abraham Lincoln

I admit that I have not spent much time looking forward to the future lately... mostly because it scares the hell out of me to not know where my life is headed next.  I am a planner.  I plan.  Excessively sometimes.  And when things do not going according to said plan, it freaks me out.  So, needlesstosay, I have obviously spent a lot of time "freaked out" lately.  I have been feeling as though all my dreams and wishes were robbed from me and that everything in my future was a big black hole of uncertainty.  Very sad.  Very dismal.  Very depressing.  Other than that, I cannot describe how it feels to be stripped of your dreams, but I know that I am not the only person in this world to experience such emotions and feelings.  The good news is-- I feel a change coming on.

There comes a point when we must CHOOSE to  be happy.  We must CHOOSE to live our lives, even if it is not according to our plans... but it is indeed according to the plans of our Lord.  God wants us to be happy, and sometimes we have to make that choice for ourselves too.

For the first time since last October, I have caught myself dreaming about Brent's and my future together.  I have been making plans.  I have things and events that I am actually looking forward to, and I am not worrying so much about the unknown (because really, what use is it to worry about things you cannot control?!).

I admit that when I am lacking my own inspiration, I often reflect on the inspiration and wisdoms of others (much smarter than myself).  Today, I stumbled across this gem by John F. Kennedy-- "For time and the world do not stand still.  Change is the law of life.  And those who look only to the past or the present are certain to miss the future."  Although I don't completely agree with JFK's lifestyle and "social activities", I cannot deny that this man has also had an amazing positive influence on the lives of countless Americans during his life.  And, I think that this quote is even more meaningful coming from JFK.  Think about it-- he certainly lived a fast, furious, and passionate lifestyle, and like everyone else, he never knew when his final day on earth might come.  But, without a doubt, this man embodied a "life for the next moment" lifestyle, and for the most part, it served him rather well.

It is impossible to serve only the future without honoring the present.  But, I certainly plan to spend more time appreciating the present, moving on from the past, and looking forward to many brighter days ahead.  The Lord is with me, and I know he will take care of me.

Remembering 9/11

I have spent a lot of time today reflecting on 9/11/01.  Like everyone, I remember exactly where I was when I heard the news-- I had just finished Feeds and Feeding with Dr. Carstens in Kleberg and my friend and I had walked over to the Vet School to get ready for Physiology.  The news was on in every room with a TV, and everyone's life was on hold.  We all spent the next days glued to any media outlet possible for more information, when all we could do was cry, pray, and lick our proverbial wounds.

A friend emailed me this morning with a message from Pastor Rick Warren, author of "The Purpose Driven Life" and "The Purpose Driven Church", that focused on why God allows evil things to happen.  This message was strong, truthful, and echoing.  In a nutshell, the message is summed up with these words: God allows us to make choices.  In Heaven, His will is carried out perfectly, but earth is a not a perfect place.  People are allowed to act on their own free will, often causing harm to others.  Bad things happen here.  Too often to good people.

If you would like the email, I would be happy to pass it along.  Just drop me a note.