Well, Brent and I had a long day driving to, in, and home from Houston today. So, I had some time to do some thinking... serious thinking... about how to put some of my very consuming thoughts into words. I'm going to talk about God now... Don't be scared.
First, I realize that yes, Brent and I are in a tough situation, and I am not small-minded enough to think that we are the ONLY ones in this world in a tough situation. Many are in tougher situations, many are not. Keep that in mind, eventhough most of the forthcoming information is directly related to us.
Do I believe in God? Yes. Have I had my doubts? Yes. I think this is OK. It's hard for many people to believe unwaveringly in something that they cannot collect nonsubjective data on and then analyze... BUT I do believe in the validity of observational studies (for those not familiar/don't care about science-- that's the types of studies based solely on observation) when applied correctly. Here's what I have seen at work in my life lately. I hope you will use this evidence as a tool for good instead of evil. :)
1) Brent's cancer was detected early because it JUST happened to be associated with a tooth infection. Who helped us detect it and start treatment early? God.
2) Brent was IMMEDIATELY accepted into the #1 cancer treatment hospital (MD Anderson) by pretty much being "in the right place at the right time". FYI- It's usually takes weeks or months to get in to MDA, especially for those that do not have health insurance. Who got Brent into MDA with some of MDA's BEST doctors? God (through family friends). Praise be to God.
3) Who stood by both of us unwaveringly throughout Brent's surgery, recovery, and radiation? God (and our family and friends too, of course). Does He continue to be obviously present in our daily lives, even as we push through the current chemotherapy program? Absolutely, yes. Can we honestly FEEL God's presence? Yes. Has God spoken to us directly? Yes. And who said the voices in your head were bad!!!
And then there are the countless other "coincidences" that have happened throughout the past months (not to mention the rest of our lives). And, just like in research-- when you end up with so many "coincidences", it's only right to start looking for the connection. -->God<--. "Luck" can ONLY get you so far. Someone greater is at work here folks.
OK, here's where it get's tricky for me. Who started all this cancer-mess in the first place? God. Ouch.
Some argue that God does not cause cancer (especially the folks at MDA), but most believe that each of our plans are laid out and guided by God from before our birth, throughout our earthly lives, and into Heaven. Am I mad at God when I see how cancer and its treatments have taken their toll on Brent. Yes. And, I'm OK with that too... now. And I am working on that part of my relationship with God.
I know God has a plan. I know I may not be capable of understanding said plan in my weakling human state, but I know that we will be OK. And yes, there are COUNTLESS MAJOR LESSONS that Brent and I have learned from our situation that have greatly improved our lives already... tomorrow's blog?
I have friends that haven't accepted God. This makes me sad. Even more so that I would probably feel the same way if I were in some of their shoes. But, I can promise this: I will pray for them daily so that they too will feel God's love when it is right. I know that I wouldn't have made it this far in life without God, and I know He will take me through anything He has planned.
I promise not every post will be based on religion. But this is just something that has been consuming a lot of my thoughts lately, and I feel like I just lost 10 pounds getting it out there.
OK. That is all. <3
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